Though today, the worst thing a parent can endure while holiday shopping is spying a "sold out" notice next to Amazon's PS5 listing, the stakes were a whole lot higher back in the '80s. Enter the violent, baseball-bat-broaching Cabbage Patch Kids riots of 1983.
From the toy's origins to the '90s flick inspired by these brawls, here are 10 photos of when the Cabbage Patch Kids incited a riot in 1983.
1
Cabbage Patch Riots
Oppression. Sports championships. Political strife. Economic struggles. Of all the things that have sparked riots throughout history, none are quite as alarmingly adorable as the Cabbage Patch Kids riots of 1983.
2
Cabbage Hatch Kids
In 1982, Cabbage Patch Kids sprouted on the scene. Defined by their adorable faces and soft bodies, these affordable dolls — going from between $18 and $28 dollars a pop — sparked a shopping frenzy around the globe.
3
Getting That Lettuce
Topping toy sale records for three years in a row, Cabbage Patch Kids were a resounding success. Making $2,000,000,000 in sales — including branded merchandise — throughout three continents and parts of Asia in 1984, demand was so high that toy makers struggled to keep up.
4
The Riots
Despite canceling their marketing efforts in an attempt to keep pace, there were seldom enough Cabbage Patch Kids to go around. Most stores stocked only 200-500 units as thousands of parents attempted to grab one for their children.
5
Christmas Cheer, Shopping Fear
These supply chain woes reached a fever pitch during the 1983 holiday season when toy aisles at stores like Sears, Macy’s, and JCPenney devolved into violence. There were several reports of shoppers brawling with one another while trying to get their hands on the highly-coveted doll.
6
Pushing an Shoving
“They knocked over the display table,” one West Virginia department store manager told Time of the incident. “People were grabbing at each other, pushing and shoving. It got ugly.”
7
Ouch
Alongside trampling, shoving, and the other classic tenants of a rowdy crowd, some shoppers raised the ante, hitting other parents with weapons like baseball bats while battling other desperate customers. One woman allegely even broke her leg during one of these violent altercations.
8
Crowd Control
With violence on the rise, stores found new ways to stop grown adults from battering each other over dolls. Amid this uptick in violence, some retailers began doling out slips of paper dubbed “purchase tickets” to prevent in-store smackdowns.
9
Peeving Pranks
But it wasn’t just stores that were in on the craze. A radio station in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, sparked controversy after jokingly promising to drop Cabbage Patch Kids from an airplane flying above Milwaukee County Stadium. Though meant as a gag, several parents desperate to get their hands on the must-have holiday gift arrived at the arena with baseball mitts in hand. “By the time I got off the air and I was home, I got a phone call from my boss, and he said, 'What did you guys say about Cabbage Patch dolls today?’” Remembered radio host Gene Mueller. “’Well, we made up this thing about dropping dolls from a B-29 and taking pictures of people’s credit cards out at County Stadium.' 'Well, I’m getting calls from the Brewers and they’re kind of [peeved] They’re afraid there’s going to be a crowd out here. What kind of stunt did you pull?'"
10
A Long Legacy
Beyond serving as a precursor to other wild toy events, including ones for Tickle Me Elmo in the ‘90s and Hatchimals in the mid-20-teens, these riots made it to the big screen, inspiring the plot of 1996’s “Jingle All the Way.”
